My Musings

Life on the Other Side experiment – Day 1

I put a load of washing on this morning. I didn’t ask anyone if they had any dirty clothes stashed under their beds/in their cupboards. Life on the other side: if it’s not in the basket it’s not getting washed!

That wasn’t so hard.

I decided to do a quick vacuum around the laundry downstairs, but decided I needed to remove fresh, stanky cat poo from litter tray first. FM#3 asked if I’d like them to do it as they wandered past me. “That’s OK, I’ve got it” I said in a voice that did not sound calm and breezy.

Must work on that.

While scooping cat poo into the downstairs toilet, I noticed an empty toilet roll sitting on top of the spare toilet rolls.

Hmmm….no bother….it’s just as easy for me to put that into the recycling bin as it would’ve been for the person who finished the roll….it’s no bother that I’ve reminded and nagged everyone so many times about this….it’s all good, it’s just one little roll of cardboard after all.

I put the litter scoop and empty toilet roll by the back door while I vacuumed. I saw a FM walk past both items, and leave them where they sat, not once, not twice, but three times, while I vacuumed.

Suddenly I realised I was bashing the deep freezer with my relatively-new Dyson stick vac that keeps refusing to spin it’s head….


Is that a hint of rage I’m feeling….bugger! People from the Other Side don’t feel rage do they?

OK, what would someone from the other half do….that’s right, I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me. IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME AT ALL!!! Dagnammit!

Ok, regroup.

Mindfulness. That’ll help, right?

So, I vacuumed while thinking I am so grateful to be able to vacuum my own home and I am so blessed to have a vacuum cleaner. I am able to control my emotions reactions (emotions are not negative or positive, they just are. I accept all of me. Blah blah). I love how clean the floor looks now. Clean floor feels wonderful under my feet.

Ahhhh….a mindset shift really can make a difference.

FM#3 then walked across the aforementioned wonderfully clean, blessed floor, leaving a trail of wet grass. (I didn’t vacuum it up.) “Bye, have a good day.” And out the front door they went.

“Have fun!” I cheerily called out.

This evening, plans were made between FM#3 and an “outsider”, and FM#4 requested a switcheroo so that FM#4 could start drinking their special drink ASAP. This change of plans meant FM#4 wouldn’t be around to help out with cooking dinner (if the original plans had stuck, they would have been). The thought didn’t even seem to occur to FM#4.

That’s the sort of thing I think about – how will my plans, or what I want to do affect the other FMs – and then I expect others will consider me in the same way. That’s the sort of expectation that leaves me feeling crushed when it’s not met.

Typical me probably would have done typical passive-aggressive me and given FM#4 my coldest shoulder for a few hours. Or a day. Or two. Depending on how much I stewed about it really.

But, the new, care-less me figured I’d basically planned to be cooking alone anyway, so no biggie really. I burnt the onion and ham for the fried rice, but it was still edible, and although the chicken and sweetcorn soup boiled down too much (because I got distracted by the fried rice and forgot about it) it actually tasted really good.

No biggie, right? Right? Yep, I’m quite sure that lump in my throat is just reflux and nothing more.

‘til tomorrow, Melanie x

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