Melanie's Musings

Life on the Other Side experiment – Day 2

I woke up this morning with a nasty hormonal headache (you know those ones that hang around, just painful enough to be uncomfortable?) and had to skip my weekly Saturday morning yoga. FM#1 was also feeling quite hormonal and uncomfortable this morning, and was very needy & irritable.

I just friggin love it when we are so in sync….it’s such a magical phenomenon.

A cup of tea didn’t help me feel any better, neither did the second, and I was finding it really hard to care when I was feeling lousy (and having missed my dose of yoga), but also finding it difficult to not care. Both seemed like way too much work.

What I really need is to get out of the house, get some fresh air, get grounded, and let Mother Nature heal me.

I’d made plans with a beautiful friend of mine earlier in the week to go for a walk after yoga, and although I didn’t feel great, I had the sense that keeping my plans with her would help me more than going back to bed.

Turns out, my intuition was spot on – my headache magically disappeared as soon as I met up with her! We had a really nice walk to a gorgeous, peaceful bay, and I felt so much better for it. (And, as a bonus, I came home to vacuumed and mopped floors, and my favourite gluten/dairy/refined sugar free – don’t knock ’em ’til you try ’em! – treats, courtesy of FM#4.)

Before I left to meet my friend though, I just had to hang out some washing. Even as I was doing it, I was thinking I didn’t really have time for it – I was going to be late meeting my friend – but once I’d started I had to finish it.

I could ask someone else to hang the rest out for me, and just leave right now….. But they won’t do it right…. I could leave it for when I get back…. No, you just need to get it done now.

I ended up being 15 minutes late to meet my friend. Fortunately she was running late too, so no harm done, but it hit me while driving to meet her, that hanging out the washing is the sort of thing that I need to work on caring about less.

Last night I went to bed feeling utterly depleted. It was probably partly hormonal, but I think the essence of my exhaustion was from fighting myself all day. I felt as though I had spent the day as someone else – it felt so unnatural and uncomfortable to just not care about anything  act as though I didn’t care about anything. It felt like I was hiding behind an emotional face mask. I didn’t like it at all.

But, it is through challenges and pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone that we learn, right? Am I learning anything? Yes, I’m learning that I am freaking awesome just the way I am! Wait….maybe I could dig a little deeper….

I decided I’d wake up today and try approaching the experiment with less judgement and more curiosity. Which, ironically, is what I tell my health coaching clients to do….

Jeez I am smart….

So, I am not going to try to deny the part of me that over-cares anymore, but I am going to get curious about where/when I can care less.

Like the laundry, for example. I’ve had a control thing about the laundry for years – don’t know why, just do – and I won’t let anyone else wash, hang out, fold or iron, because I convinced myself it had to be done my way. Don’t know why. But that is something I could  learn to care less about. It wouldn’t affect anyone else, and I could still be true to my core self.

When the need to do something my way (hanging out the laundry) messes with me doing something that makes me feel good (meeting a friend) it definitely seems like a situation where it would be in my best interest to care less. And, to bank some energy for the things I really do need to care about, so I don’t end up with an empty care tank again.

That makes so much more sense than trying to shut up/shut down parts of myself.

I think this is where things start to get interesting folks….

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